- After a rough night with a guy who wants all of the attention 24/7, I have had it. A girlfriend of mine called him an “attention whore” and my youngest daughter agreed. I had never heard of this term before, but I have to say that I agree with them 100%.
I’m new to this world of dating and don’t know about all the danger signs and red flags. Evidently, I’m not alone because I talk to other women every day and they can’t spot Mr. Wrong either.
So, this guy has been a Facebook friend for a long time. I have to admit, I have 1,600 friends on Facebook, so you could be my friend and I may never speak to you personally. One day he showed up and liked my post and commented that my picture was nice. As soon as I saw this I had to check him out. He was actually a local guy and lived close to me. Well, the city listed on his profile said he did anyway.
We went back and forth commenting on each others page for a few days. He wasn’t bad looking in the pictures on his Facebook page. I was going out of town and I wasn’t going to be around to chat, so I gave him my phone number through a private message one morning. An hour later my phone rang and he was calling me. I thought it was fast, but we hit it off and he talked a lot. He even admitted he talked more than any woman. We laughed and I enjoyed the conversation. He laughed at me and said he thought he had met his match with talking.
I was born with the gift of gab. I can carry on a conversation about almost any topic. I do try to stay away from religion and politics. Being from the Southeastern United States, it’s not a good thing for a liberal woman to go shooting off her mouth in polite company, unless she just wants to piss somebody off.
I had to put the man on speakerphone as I got dressed because he was still talking and I was still laughing at him. He cracked me up. I needed a good laugh. That day we talked for a total of 12 hours when I counted them all up. There was something interesting that happened though. I was meeting my friend to go get a wheel for my car. When we got in the car to go, she called somebody and started talking. The conversation sounded familiar. The things she was saying and talking about out loud were ringing a bell. I asked her who she was talking to and she shrugged her shoulders acting like she didn’t know. I had told her in a text that I was talking to a guy and his name.
She was supposed to be my navigator. I had no idea where we were going and the directions were in her phone. So, she hung up and started doing her job. I asked her again who she was talking to and she told me she didn’t know. I was born, but not yesterday. She pulled up his picture, it was the same guy of course. I’m not going there today. I did call him and ask him who he was just talking to and he didn’t know either. 😉
I told him we were in the same car together and he said she contacted him first and he gave her his number. I asked if he wanted to talk to both of us on speaker phone. He said no, he would talk to me later and work it out. He sent a couple of text messages because she was text messaging him.
After I dropped her off at her house, I called him and we were talking about what happened. His house phone started ringing and it was her. She had tried to convince me he was a player the whole time we were together, but I saw her phone and she did contact him first. I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
We ended up talking all night and I had to be up early the next day to go out of town. When I woke up, I sent him a text and the phone calls began again. He was playing sexy country love songs. I have not listened to country music much since my marriage broke up. I listen to rock and mainstream pop now. I love Adele. This guy had never heard of Adele. Houston, we may have a problem.
My iPhone stopped working. I was charging it as I drove and was running late for my appointment. Between my tire and my phone and 12/12/12, I felt like the world was turning upside down. Geez, I didn’t want to ask what next. Everything turned out really well. My phone started working so we could text, then it let him call me. Another late night phone call for two nights. Then I switched houses, got an upgrade on the phone and couldn’t give him much attention. He was acting strange. He got a phone call and said he was spending the weekend with his brother, but he would text me. I was good with that until there were no text messages.
Coincidentally, this same night there was a multi year class reunion Christmas gathering at a bar in a town in Georgia close to where we all graduated from high school. It’s one big hook up scene and there’s a hotel located conveniently next door.
My thing is, if you say you’re going to text me, then text me. My world doesn’t have to revolve around one fish or one ocean. I can talk to other men too. There are other men I’m interested in being friends with these days.
The phone calls were becoming all about him. How women were always telling him how sexy he is and how they wanted him to come over to give them a hug or asking him why aren’t he isn’t married yet because he’s too good looking not to be married. The song “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon kept popping into my mind. I was thinking it’s because we’ve talked too much and we’ve started to run out of things to say and he’s bored with the conversation. There I go blaming myself. That’s a big Al-Anon bad thing to do.
He didn’t ask about me. If I started saying something about what I was doing or something that had happened, he stopped listening and turned on music or changed the subject back to if he was going to grow his goatee back again.
He kept telling me he was down to earth and just himself, but I have this intuition that something wasn’t right. Even after he came over and we had spent time together and he said you can ask anybody about me and they will tell you I’m a good man. I happened to know one of the women he had dated before and I got in touch with her. I always say that before I marry again, I’ll call the ex-wife and talk to her. Man, did he get blown out of the water. There was a whole web of lies she exposed.
After I untangled the web and calmed down, I called him. I told him who I had talked to and what I knew about him. He didn’t want to talk to me about it and was mad that I talked to her. After he calmed down, late that night, he called and we had another discussion about honesty. I had posted a top ten ways that gentlemen and ladies should treat each other when they first start dating on Facebook that day. It’s a great guide if I do say so myself.
When all was said and done we decided to be friends. That was all going well until I got sick and had to go to the emergency department with chest pains. He was very concerned and wanted me to call him. I was surprised because he usually is caught up in himself. He became very attentive. My doctor wanted me to come see him and it was a long drive, so I asked If he wanted to drive me down there and he said yes, but I would have to pick him up first. Hindsight is 20/20 and I should have driven myself. I found out where he really lives, something else he doesn’t tell anyone.
He stayed with me because I was tired and in pain, but he ignored my needs and I ended up waiting on him. When I called my daughter, he started rubbing on me and touching me so much that I had to hang up the phone. As soon as I hung up, he stopped and he said I was on the phone too long and he thought I wasn’t getting off, so he wasn’t in the mood anymore more. What? I was smacking my head over that one. I sent a text to my daughter and apologized. She told me how to handle him by ignoring him. I hate playing games. I’m an adult and I’ve put away those childish jr. high ways.
She said he wanted all of my attention, so I shouldn’t give it to him. I was thinking this can’t be serious. Then my admissions adviser from college called and wanted me to log onto the website to see if I could get into the classroom yet. He had to get off the computer for me to log on. Then he started with the touching thing again. I slapped his hand and gave him a look. He stopped alright. I meant business.
You know a person hasn’t listened to you when you’re talking about your daughters and they ask, “You mean they both are lesbians?” Yeah, if you have a problem with it, hit the road.
When my friend was trying to help me find a place to live, we were messaging through Facebook while he was at my place. He wasn’t paying attention. I think I gave him the remote to the TV and put him in the recliner facing it. I told her how he was acting and that’s when I first learned the term “attention whore.” She said that I deserve someone who is going to pay attention to me. I totally agree. I borrowed the title for this blog from Toby Keith’s song “I Wanna Talk About Me.” Conversations are a two way street. If it’s lagging, I can pick up the pace, but I can listen too. It doesn’t always have to be about me. It’s definitely not about that guy anymore. He’s outta here. We’ll still be friends, but not on Facebook because I blocked him. My days of babysitting a 48 year old man are over.
Relationships are based on trust and honesty. Both people have to like each other and not be all about themselves. You give and you shall receive. The dating scene is very hazardous for your health. Finding someone you’re compatible with isn’t easy. I promise, I’m not like Taylor Swift. Just because you go out with me doesn’t mean I’ll end up writing a blog about you. If you’re really good, I’m not telling anyone because they’ll want some too. I just learned an important lesson and needed to share it.