It’s been a long time since I wrote a blog. I didn’t think having a health crisis, getting married because the man I was living with had a requirement in his previous divorce that in order for his children to have overnight visits, he had to be married to anyone living in his apt. I live in Alabama and there is a law that states this in 2015. Never mind that couples cohabitation and have children without getting married.

That’s not part of my story. Shortly after having part of my intestines removed in April 2014, I got married. Yes, I was taking narcotics, but I was also just plain stupid.

I think you could even quote me from previous blogs that said I would never get married again. See, I was married to the father of my children for a total of 27 years. There were some good years, but some not so good years. We were in our early 20s when we got married. We didn’t know much about life, love, finances, or being married. We kind of fumbled our way through it.

Fortunately, we have two great daughters. I’m living with my youngest and her wife now. It’s a respite, after the last year of hell.

I’m learning to be my positive self again. It’s kind of like walking or riding a bike. You stumble along at first and then your friends catch you, pick you up, dust you off and you get back up again to wobble along.

Each day I’m a little more sure of myself. There are set backs because I still have to have some contact with him until everything is finalized. After that, I’m hoping to never see him again as long as I live.

I’m usually a loving person and I may change my mind at some point. I’m able to be around my first husband just fine. It’s been six years since that divorce, so in six years, tough in cheek, I may pardon this one.

So much happened in one year and it makes it very difficult. I’m a survivor and I always have been my entire life.

I have post traumatic stress disorder. I’ve actually been diagnosed with it. PTSD is not something that’s easy to live with your entire life.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it makes you an easy target for those who prey on people. Sociopaths and psychopaths are in abundance in our world. I wish it wasn’t true, but it’s a sad fact. I have to learn how to spot these predators and stay very far away from them. The trouble is, they have very clever disguises.

I told my daughter that I think the best thing for me to do is let my hair grow out to it’s natural color. It’s turned quite gray in the past year. I’m going to work on me and what makes me happy. Do what makes me feel good about myself and make everything around me positive again.

Pretty soon, I hope to be more than a grandma to a grandchild with four paws. He’s a sweetheart, but I need a grand baby to hold and love and then my world will be complete.

The love of family and friends can is the best medicine.


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