Jess the Mess

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I was 23 years old, married, had a one year old and didn’t plan to have anymore children.
I knew something was wrong because I felt like I had the flu. My family doctor couldn’t figure it out, so he sent me to the gastroenterologist. That dr. thought I had a giardia, which is an organism that lives and feeds of your digestive tract. I asked how you got one and he said from drinking tap water.
So began my lifelong boycott of tap water.
He did several other tests including a pregnancy test, which I knew would be negative. I had an IUD and my OB/Gyn had just tested it a few weeks before. It was firmly in place.
I called to get my tests results, this is back when the labs could give them to you. I called the doctor and told him I had an organism alright, but it was called a baby.
After I got over my initial shock, I called Dr. Newsome. He delivered all of my grandparents’ grandchildren and great children, except for me.
They scheduled an appointment for me to have the IUD removed the next week. Some people have left them in, but children have been born with birth defects. There was a chance of miscarriage, but he said it wasn’t that high compared to the rate of complications and birth defects.
I had anxiety thru the roof the day he took it out. I had been through miscarriages and couldn’t imagine another one.
I already had the all day sickness. Why they call it morning sickness is beyond me, because I woke up with it, went to bed with it, and it never went away. This time it was worse because every joint in my body hurt and I had a sore throat too, just like the flu.
I went home, got in bed, and prayed that God wouldn’t take my baby away. If this baby had gone through this much to survive, then she was meant to be here. Don’t ask how I knew it was a girl, I just knew.
I spotted a little, but she stayed in there. I got sicker, but rounder by the week. Big sister and dad would go off and play on the weekends, but I watched all the cooking shows on Georgia Public Television. Julia Child, Nathalie Dupree, the Cajun Gourmet, I learned a lot about herbs, trussing turkeys, and other things I had never seen my mother or grandmother do while cooking.
I was already calling the nightly head to the rib little girl, my special angel. There was a purpose for her to be in my life. Quite possible my mother’s revenge for my own childhood!
Her days and nights were always mixed up inside the womb. It was like a game she took pleasure in playing.
The arrival of the due date drew near and it was time for an ultrasound.
When the doctor told me she was every way but the right way for a vaginal delivery and a c-section was necessary, I was a little relieved. I had been in labor 46 hours with her sister. I didn’t want a repeat and Jessica (big sister chose her name) was bigger.
We waited two weeks past my due date, but she continued to head butt my ribs. During this time, I was given an assignment to write an essay about why I wanted a tubal ligation at 24years young. It was the easiest essay I’ve ever written!

On May 11, our little angel was born. Her days and nights were still turned around, and to this day they get that way.

Her sister went around telling everyone she was as mean as a snake. We call her Jess the Mess. She had a lot of anger inside that little body and it had to come out someway.

Now, she’s 26 and she gets angry, but she has better control of herself. I’m so proud of her and the person she has become. She’ll always be my Baby Girl, no matter how old she gets.
I started this blog before her birthday, but didn’t finish it because my brain was scrambled from the concussion.
I was writing it to tell her Happy Birthday and let her know I love her and she means the world to me ❤

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